Just in case you missed the point, energy is bad for you....

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090320/ap_on_go_ot/energy_birds

Because we've been distracted for far too long on frivolous topics like the zombie-assault on capitalism, our way of life, the American dream, America itself, anything resembling common sense coming out of Capital Hill, and the debate over whether or not lynching should be allowed in the socialist states of america (i.e, bonuses to people who worked based upon contracts saying they would get bonuses...) the much more traditional enemy of rational thought, the environmentalist, has come up with this wacky little reminder.

If you've taken the time to plop into the link up above you would see that energy production is killing birds... And the survey this is being laid out with is lent scientific gravitas by the 40 year length of time that has been taken to compile the information necessary for the final analysis...

Which, by the way...

is....
(are you sitting down for this?)

Energy production of all kinds is depleting the bird population significantly, so therefore the hussein administration needs to think extremely carefully before using any public lands for ANY kind of energy, including what was once thought of as clean, renewable energy.

In case you missed the subtle aspects of that, let me simplify it further...

By the terms of this news article, the ONLY resolution to this problem is for every man, woman, child and unborn fetus to go down to Jonestown and drink a dixie-cup of grape Kool-aid.

Yeah... coal? Harmful. Oil? Harmful. Wind? Harmful. Nuclear? Harmful. Water-driven turbines? Harmful. Solar energy? Harmful. Carb-free Monster Drink? Harmful. Hamsters on Treadmills? Not only harmful but actually carcinogenic at the same time.

Republican Senator Charles Grassley must be in his extremely satisfied place to know that All Americans should go and kill themselves. It's not only politically expedient, but it's good for the Yellow-breasted Sap-sucker.

On a more or less intelligent note (I'm at least hoping...) rational thought might bring up a few questions from this article. To wit:

1) HOW is energy production killing birds?

2) Which energy production is more significantly a threat and why?

3) Who conducted this research, and was their third-grade homeroom teacher providing "strict government oversite?"?

4) Back in the 1960s was energy production being considered as a relevant factor in the bird population?

5) Back in the 1960s was the bird population itself a considered at threat, and why?

6) What was the scope of this investigation? It sounds like it must have been a massive undertaking since it specifies that Birds in Hawaii are at far greater risk of developing a bad case of the heebee jeebees than those in Bangor, Maine (where, to be honest, the Stephen King population is doing far worse to the birds...).

7) Who funded the research?

8) Who is making these conclusions? Real scientists or Thetans?

9) As the decline in bird-population is soooo alarming that a halt to new energy production is the only conclusion, why has it taken 40 years for anyone to hear a (ahem.....) peep about this?

10) What is the corresponding (and scientifically required) data for the same information in other parts of the world which have differing climate and socio-political aspects to consider, like? For instance, China, which violates clean-air rules as a matter of governmental policy, features in their daily menus birds' nest soup? Is that because they can no longer find enough birds to make bird soup?

11) For something as staggeringly significant as this is there a database laid out where all Americans can see the evidence for themselves? Or is this along the lines of the declining polar bear population that had so ripped the hearts of the World Wrestling Entertainers a year or two ago?

Y'see, people... this is what I'm talking about on the whole social engineering thing. One little article which basically states mankind is evil, without a single fact, figure or scientific method to back it up, and we're not only expected to take it seriously, but to downright feel horrible about ourselves over it.

Nice try Herr Gore, but you can't pull the feathers over our eyes on this. After all, we're not complete bird-brains.

I'm Dr. Calamity and I approve this message.