An open apology to Barack Obama....

Dear Mr. President,

I realize I have been a tad critical of your efforts. I understand that you have a great deal on your plate... it can't be easy to push through sooooo many agendas in such a short time knowing that there are so many people who were counting on you to do the things you said you would do... you know... fix the economy and so forth.

I know you get super-peeved at those bad guys out there seeking to hurt you... Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney, Rick Santelli... it must be very frustrating. I mean, how do you manage to hold your head up when speaking with Hugo Chavez? It can't be easy for you.

I can't help but feel that I have, in my own minor way, hurt your feelings too. And yet, that is not what I need to apologize to you for. Hurt feelings, while unfair and therefore fundamentally unamerican, are something that we can all heal from. I mean, just look at how those poor put-upon Democrats who had to endure 8 years of not being absolutely in charge following 8 years of being absolutely in charge, have licked their wounds and come together in harmony and positively blossomed.

No, what I need to apologize to you for is the fundamental problem that clings to the patina of EVERY american... that taint that damns us all and weighs our souls down.

I apologize to the President of the united states for being a burden to him.

Without me, and a heck of a lot of other people just like me out across this weak and bitter land, President Hussein would be free to advance his plans in peace. But instead he has to waste time on complicated schemes to create class envy and internal power struggles while at the same time spending money that might have gone to murdering unborn children on such useless fare as ACORN, tasked with preventing Republicans from coming back into power.

You see, that is what it is to have Government be the answer to all of our problems. It is, as Hussein once described the miracle of childbirth, "...being saddled with the consequences of one mistake". We are the burden that our president must bear, the heavy yoke across his shoulder, that he pulls along as he dreams of a day in which one day all burdens will be equal... I mean all men will be equal.

I know you expected me to explain that the burden was that I constantly criticize and berate the man. No, I am pretty certain he isn't even aware of my existence, and if he were to someday become aware of me, he might not even acknowledge me. I can't apologize for that because it is simply a voice in the wilderness of the interweb... not even a real website, just a blog on Google, and thence not raising so much as a hiccup on the Richter scale of his life. I'm okay with that.

For now.

I am recalcitrant that the burden of taking care of me has fallen to his hands. I know in my heart that Bush never felt burdened by the needs of the people... and yet I feel he worked tirelessly to protect us... not out of a sense of responsibility, but because that was why he was there in the first place... to make Americans safe.

Not to make americans feel ashamed that they are in the way of Large Government.

So Mr. President, you have my sincerest apologies that you perceive me as a drain on your resources.

If only they were truly YOUR resources that might make some impact on me.

I'm Dr. Calamity and I am sorry that I approve this message.